Chapter 1: I want to live
“Entertainment World! Hello, I’m MC Jung. Today, we’ll be meeting a rising star actor who is shaking up Chungmuro and Yeouido—a god-like newcomer, Ha Muyoung! Welcome!”
The camera moved along with the MC’s energetic voice. He looked to be in his mid-twenties. A man with a chiseled face smiled casually and greeted her.
“Hello, I’m Ha Muyoung, a rookie actor.”
“Muyoung, you must be really busy these days.”
“But I made time to see you, Jung.”
“Oh my goodness! Producer, if Jung dies of a heart attack today, please process it as an industrial accident. You know what I mean, right?”
The interview began with a light joke.
“Now, Mr. Ha Muyoung, you’ve earned the nickname ‘god-like actor.’ Did you know that?”
“Yes, I’ve heard about it.”
“And do you know why they call you that?”
Muyoung laughed awkwardly at the MC’s playful words. His pleasant low voice and sophisticated gestures left the staff in awe, unable to look away.
“I understand it’s a compliment for how well I’ve portrayed my roles.”
“You did more than just portray them well.”
-
I thought he was possessed.
-
His acting was insane, like he was possessed.
-
Is this really a rookie? No way. He must be a god.
-
Ha Muyoung brought the character to life. No other actor could replace him—it’s unimaginable, impossible. He’s a blessing to the Korean entertainment industry.
-
Don’t be surprised, everyone. Look at his face. Is he even human?
-
He even went to Seoyeon University. He’s definitely not human.
And so on.
When the netizens’ comments appeared on the screen, Muyoung became so embarrassed that he covered his face with his hands. The cameraman filming him smiled warmly.
“You’re the one who created a box office comeback phenomenon through word of mouth. Your debut film,
The MC, excited, threw her cue sheets around—a signature move of hers, only seen when she was truly surprised or impressed. She was originally a comedian.
“It’s thanks to the good projects and good people I’ve met.”
“You’re so humble! Now, let’s dive into our in-depth exploration. When did you first think about becoming an actor, Muyoung?”
“It was around the time I graduated from high school.”
“Oh? Was there a specific reason?”
Muyoung calmly nodded his head.
“My family situation wasn’t good. Worse than you can imagine. It was so hard that I thought, ‘If things continue like this, I’ll really die.’ Then one day, someone told me that I could live a different life through acting.”
His eyes sparkled under the lights. He was clearly reminiscing about a not-so-distant past.
“So I started. To survive.”
Smack!
“You fucking unlucky bastard!”
Smack!
“You’re like a devil!”
The beating smelled heavily of alcohol. My lips were split, and my nose was bleeding. But I couldn’t back down today.
“Say it again!”
“……I’ll leave after I graduate. Give me back the bankbook Mom left in my name.”
“You ungrateful bastard!”
Smack!
That man, who was now unconscious, is my stepfather.
We’ve been together for about five years since my mother passed away in an accident.
So, for me, he’s the embodiment of a living hell.
“I’ve spent everything on feeding you, clothing you, and sheltering you until now! What are you going to do? You think I’m a sucker just because I’m standing here listening?”
He grabbed my collar menacingly. My head was spinning, and I couldn’t stand properly.
“I took care of the kid who killed his parents, and now he’s got the nerve to open his eyes and ask for money?”
“……It was an accident.”
“If it weren’t for you, there wouldn’t have been an accident. You’re a guy who brings evil spirits around. You shouldn’t have been born.”
I saw things that others couldn’t see.
There were malevolent spirits, but what was particularly vivid was a strange phenomenon—a black, smog-like shape that would rise up, and something would go wrong in some way. My mother’s death was one of them.
“Why did I take you in when we don’t share a single drop of blood?”
My stepfather grabbed my hair and shook me violently. I felt like throwing up. I kept hearing a ringing in my ears.
“And what? You’ll leave after you graduate? Don’t be cocky and get ready to receive a spiritual possession.”
I had been in and out of fortune-teller shops since I was young. But the shamans all just scratched their heads.
-
He has divine energy, but it’s a different kind of energy.
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He has divine energy, but there’s no god to serve.
They just kept saying that some kind of change would occur once I became an adult and that they would watch me until then. My stepfather was counting on my spiritual power to explode.
“I don’t want to.”
“What the fuck?”
“I don’t want to receive a spiritual possession.”
I resisted, trying to pull his hand away. If I didn’t stop him now, he would surely hold my neck and shake me until he died. I would be tied to a shrine and live like a dog for the rest of my life.
“Stop it. Please.”
“Ha! Look at this guy?”
Bam!
My stepfather slammed my head against the wall, then grabbed and broke the neck of a soju bottle lying on the floor.
Crash!
Sharp glass glinted in the darkness.
My body wouldn’t move due to extreme fear.
“Whether it’s a mother or a child, the way to discipline them when they don’t listen is the same, Muyoung. I think I’ve been too lenient with you. Huh?”
He came closer, smirking.
He was a devil—a devil disguised as a human.
“Should I scratch up that pretty face of yours so you can’t go outside? Then you’ll behave a little better, won’t you?”
I instinctively stepped back. I felt an ashtray at my fingertips. It was the moment I trembled and grabbed it.
“Ah.”
It appeared.
Black smog slowly rose up and enveloped my stepfather’s body. It was horrifying, but also mesmerizing—like sulfur smoke rising from hell, pulling him in.
“What the—?”
My stepfather noticed the change in my eyes and groped his own body.
“Oh, is it here?”
His voice was sobering from the alcohol.
Once it appeared, there were no exceptions.
From small accidents to death.
I didn’t know what it would be.
“You fucking bastard! Is it here?”
I slightly nodded my head, and my stepfather turned pale. Then, highly excited, he rushed towards me.
“Ah, get rid of it! Drive it away!”
Was that something I could control?
I can only see it.
If I could, I wouldn’t have let my mother go like that.
“You unlucky bastard—!”
I don’t know which came first.
Is it that they come because I can see them? Or do I just see them coming?
But the excited stepfather didn’t seem to care. He screamed and rushed towards me, and I swung the ashtray.
Bam!
“Aaah!”
Blood oozed sluggishly from his nose. I ran up the semi-basement stairs barefoot.
“Stop right there—! Fuck!”
“Huff— huff—”
The streets were silent. I couldn’t stop because it felt like my stepfather was chasing me from behind. The fear of death was stronger than the pain in my feet.
“Ueeek—”
And I arrived at a nearby park.
I grabbed a trash can and threw up my insides. Stomach acid and blood poured out. I must have hit my head wrong earlier—I felt so dizzy.
“Damn.”
I couldn’t keep my body steady.
I had to move, but not a single finger would budge.
In my blurry vision, I saw the park clock.
It was almost midnight, my eighteenth birthday, and the day I had to escape that house.
……This is not the time to be lying down like this.
“Student.”
Then someone placed their hand over my eyes.
It was warm.
“Why are you like this here?”
It was a mysterious voice, ambiguous in gender and age.
Tears streamed down my face involuntarily.
“Oh dear, you must have had a hard time.”
Yes. I felt like I was going to die.
But now I’m really dying.
“Life is really harsh. It’s tangled up badly.”
Why is it only me who’s like this?
Everyone else lives normally, so why is it only me who’s like this?
“Because there’s a god inside your body. Your ordinary fate can’t handle it.”
What do you mean?
What god?
“Do you want to live?”
Of course I do.
“Even if you survive this, your fate won’t change. It will still be hell itself.”
No, that’s too much. Fuck.
What have I done so wrong?
“But there is a way.”
A light laugh accompanied the words.
“Live someone else’s life instead of your own. It would be more accurate to say you’re borrowing a life.”
You’ve been saying ambiguous things since earlier, so explain it more simply.
“Muyoung (無影). It means to enter someone’s shadow and erase your own shadow.”
That’s not what my name means in Chinese characters.
“This opportunity is a birthday gift. I believe you’ll do well. Besides, you have special eyes.”
That’s why I’m in this mess right now.
But there was no answer.
All I could feel was someone’s warm hand.
I lost consciousness just like that.
“Oh my!”
A cleaner shook me violently, looking horrified and disgusted.
“Why are you like this in such an outfit? We need to call an ambulance!”
My head was pounding, but I was okay.
It was that park where I lost consciousness.
My clothes were stained with blood, and my wounds were hot.
Everything was the same.
“Who beat you up? Should I call the police?”
“……What time is it now?”
“It’s a little past six. Oh dear. Here, wear this first. And cover up with this.”
The cleaner took off his outerwear and even gave me a newspaper to cover up with. There was snow piled up around us. It was a miracle that I survived without dying.
“Hey! This is Hanbit Park in Surang-dong!”
I looked down at the rustling newspaper. At some point, a sentence caught my eye.
It was a famous actor’s interview article.
[The appeal of acting? Borrowing a character’s life—]
“No. It’s Hanbit Park in Surang-dong. Hello? You said you already sent it? What do you mean? I just called for the first time.”
[It’s a chance to live someone else’s life who isn’t me. When reality is too unbearable, I act. In the moment I become one with the character, I can sneak into their life and erase myself.]
I felt an intense jolt, like an electric shock.
Because it was so similar to what the mysterious voice had said.
I jumped up and returned the clothes to the cleaner.
“Student? Are you okay?”
“Thank you for waking me up.”
“Uh, wait!”
I didn’t care that I was barefoot.
He was probably passed out drunk by now. I had to gather my things and leave during this opportunity. I would escape, to anywhere. I would escape and survive.
‘Act.’
“Huff— huff—”
‘If I want to escape this miserable life—’
Tap-tap!
‘I have to act—!’
My heart was pounding wildly as I ran. I finally felt like I had found a way. A way to save poor me, Ha Muyoung.
“I’ll take control. Don’t cross the line.”
I soon arrived at the alley in front of my house.
It was chaotic, with police and residents tangled up everywhere.
When people saw my disheveled state, they gasped and made way for me.
“Why is he like that?”
“Obviously. He must have gotten drunk and fallen.”
“It was so cold yesterday, and it even snowed.”
“And he fell like that. Tsk tsk.”
“Did he fall face first? His nose is broken.”
“It was pointless to call the ambulance.”
Among the murmuring crowd, I saw a familiar face.
It was my stepfather’s body, lying stiff and spread out. The police covered him with a white cloth.
“Student?”
I walked forward as if in a trance.
What the fortune-teller said was true—that some kind of change would occur once I became an adult.
‘What the hell is that?’
What caught my attention more than his death was a strange phenomenon I’d never seen before. Around my stepfather’s body, sparkling flower petals were scattered, the opposite energy of the smog.
Good fortune.
I instinctively realized what it would bring, and my stepfather’s death was my first stroke of luck in life.